How to win genuine friends and make your social circle large to bring more power to your own self.


5 foolproof ways to make everlasting friendships

Have you ever heard of: never let a good thing go if you find one? There is nothing more sacred than this tenant when it comes to finding true friends, putting in effort to keep them and then allocating them a special space in your life’s safe- literally- like a jewel. Why?

Because they are the type of people who are meant for keeping, buzzing around them like a bee for fun times, plotting against the world with them as two people with similar intentions are more likely to come out of the jail and hanging ardently onto support offered by these people as the more they are sharing the more they are caring.

Now there is no single recipe to somehow just find such fine people in your lives but there is definitely one opportunity that every single one of us has: exercise your right to find such people. Never say never. Never say enough. And never forget to call them back if they call you.

Now jumping straight into how to make such friends and remain true to them for the sake of one’s own sanity, wellbeing and regeneration:

1) Be polite

This should be the most obvious one. Remember everyone is going through their own issues and troubles in life so nobody likes someone who tries to form relationships with a saviour complex or tries to win arguments or even be that person who comes on too strongly because he or she believes they have fully figured out what another person’s problems are. Because you can’t.

Who are you some AI machine with the power to feel someone’s troubles and worries? But what you can offer somebody is a sense of calm. A sense that you will be there if they ever need you, or they can connect with you without being judged.

If you offer another person such leniency or be such a person around whom others can freely breathe then you have definitely scored some points.

2) Take others seriously in their convictions and values

Another loss of reason that has occurred in today’s fast paced life is to not fully connect with others, to try to stay in the moment, or to smell the roses where we are at rather than always preparing ourselves for the next step.

This fallacy is directly affecting our ability to form true, meaningful relationships in our daily lives as well. So whenever you are out to form new relationships don’t be that person who is too self absorbed or self obsessed.

Try to be sincere and invested in gaining these companionships. Ask about other people’s interests and passions so they have a chance to share themselves with you. This allows them a chance to open themselves up.

And this is a two way street. Make sure you are always interested in investing yourself in coming up with ideas and possibilities that honour their beliefs and passions. Only in this way people can feel that you like them and they in turn can like you.

But the main theme here is to always be willing to be invested in ideals and passions of others. According to Dale Carnegie, the writer of How To Win Friends And Influence People “ You make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

3) Bring the better half of yourself out

As they say, learn to be somewhat of a braggart. We all love to be around people who are sporty, exude self confidence, are genuine and popular. So why not turn this natural humanly instinct to be around such people into a tool for fulfilling one’s goal of meeting genuine and true friends?

The recipe: make an effort to win over others creatively and with a flair for bringing warmth to others. How is that possible?

Take work for example. People will like someone who can add on to their energies through his/her creativity, or by little fun gestures like inviting others to a game with them just to break the monotony of work, or arranging a fireworks show on the July 4th in the spirit of teamwork. As the words go “ Don’t be a drag just be a king/queen” .

4) Help them in bringing out all the goodness they have in them

There are two perspectives here: offer them encouragement and offer them meaningfulness. Sometimes others fail to see all the good qualities they possess and need that somebody who can make them realize what they have got.

This way two people can form a true bond of friendship which is replete with sincerity and free of any ulterior motives for any person. Likewise be willing to make heart to heart talk with others, get to the bottom of their issues and teach them to like themselves.

Even small gestures can prove successful enough to win over someone, for instance if someone is depressed offer to take them out for a drive or if someone is feeling lonesome offer them some fun time at a nearby arcade.

So to make the most out of one’s personal relationships, be a positive force, care and show enthusiasm towards others.

5) Offer guidance and protections to others

Kill for them. Although this sentiment can surely do wonders, there are subtler ways to become someone’s confidante and express your genuine concern for him/her, especially when a situation can be a bit unhealthy to get involved into directly.

One way to go about it is the rule known as suggest over demand. Learn to plant the seed and cover your basis indirectly rather than coming directly into the line of fire. And hopefully people will learn to see your true intentions towards them afterwards.

For instance, I had a female friend who fell for a guy who was on drugs and wanted her to move in with him. She was clearly too blind to see things clearly whereby the bloke had a history of using and abusing some girls. Unable to convince her directly from following this relationship I tried to use the suggest over demand principle.

I decided to take her out for the movie, Nancy and Sid: Love Kills, to give her a real life taste of such a sorrowful love. By the end she was crying and saying something that was unfathomable. By the end of a month, she had fully come out of the relationship.

The moral of the story: Sometimes mental games can come in very handy in keeping your friendships true and genuine.


Syed Mustehsan

Syed Mustehsan

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Syed Mustehsan

Syed Mustehsan

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